Emergency Stop

I am an awful driver. There's little else to it. It is something I am completely useless at.

A great passenger, yes. Pass me the aux cord and I can fill a 2 hour car journey with back to back bangers not even Neil Fox could contend with. But there's no licence for being a good passenger. No fancy bit of plastic to say I'm a qualified Grade A passenger that I can hand over in ASDA to prove my age while buying cheap plonk. (3 white vinos for £10 is honestly nothing to smirk at). And the fact of the matter is that I'm 25, I have places to go and jobs to do and without a car I'm only able to do things by foot, by train (and we ALL know what Southern Rail is like) or by bus, which is great for when I want to get that lovely 'sat in' chewing-gum-effect on the back pockets of my new Levis'! I'm only joking. I can't afford Levis'.

So I decided it was time to get behind the wheel nearly two years ago. I am quite 'all or nothing' when it comes to most things in life and it turns out when it came to driving, this was no exception. So instead of booking myself onto regular, weekly lessons I thought 'nah let's get this whole thing done in 5 days! It'll be fine!' Well. It wasn't. A solid 23 months on and I'm still learning. I should've reminded myself that Rome was not built in a day and by that theory I was never going to sit my first ever lesson and pass just 4 measly days after.

Those 5 day courses can be great if you're quite confident or if you've already done quite a bit of driving and want a refresher before your test, but not if you're like me in anyway shape or form. I did about 18 hours driving in those 4 days and then was recommended that I didn't even sit the test at the end of the week! The whole experience put me off driving completely for a while. not to mention it gave me a numb bum and more road rage than Jeremy Clarkson stuck in a jam on the M3. I hated it.

So now after what feels like hundreds of hours of driving later I am taking my test in 3 days, in an Automatic car too. Or what most of my immediate family like to call a 'toy car'. But if it's the only way to get me on the roads then so be it. Initially I was incredibly tempted to just wait it out for one of these flashy driver-less cars, but then I remembered I wasn't Richard Branson with a few million to spare so that was pretty much the bursting point of that bubble.

What this post is sort of trying to achieve is basically a warning to stay in your houses if you are a resident of Sutton, South London this coming Friday. Obviously my blog has to reading force behind it for this message to be passed far and wide. (note: serious sarcasm right thurr) Or if you do see me before just wish me good luck. Lord only knows I will need it!

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